I was speaking with someone very close to me today and it occurred to me how difficult it can be to forge an environment of respectful
communication in a romantic relationship.
We argue because we feel that the other party is incapable of
understanding our positions. Many of us feel our intimate relationship is
not a safe place to express our frustrations, fallacies, and fears. How do we
listen without defense when we are constantly on the defensive? I can personally attest to the fact
that I spend a lot of my time thinking about my strategy in a particular
discussion versus actually listening.
When a message is delivered in a way that may sting, we are very quick
to discard the viability and validity of the actual message because of a coarse
delivery. I don’t want the best
pizza in the world to be delivered to my table by a vile and rude server. With many things in life, communication
requires balance and a little finesse.
Think about your audience and try to ascertain how they will receive
your message in a favorable way and attempt to deliver it accordingly. Many times, I don’t exude the patience
or fortitude for this selfless way of communication because I am very stuck in
the “rightness”
of my own opinion. Wise people say
that it’s better to be “at peace” than to “be right”. Some times I am just ready to go to war; combat
boots, biological warfare, tanks, AK-47’s, dressed in the finest camouflage/ninja
suit on the market. I beg the
question today, is it ever THIS deep?
The issue and the day determine my answer to this
question. Perhaps, it is plausible
to develop a different approach.
It is not a cowardly thing to calm raging waters to still ones so that
everyone is heard. Let put down
our weapons today and hug it out …
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This is an open forum to express ideas, ideals and opinions. My only request is that we have respect for opinions that may be contrary to our own. Thanks a bunch and happy posting!