Kicking ballistics...

Say Word...

I was speaking with someone very close to me today and it occurred to me how difficult it can be to forge an environment of respectful communication in a romantic relationship.  We argue because we feel that the other party is incapable of understanding our positions. Many of us feel our intimate relationship is not a safe place to express our frustrations, fallacies, and fears. How do we listen without defense when we are constantly on the defensive?  I can personally attest to the fact that I spend a lot of my time thinking about my strategy in a particular discussion versus actually listening.  When a message is delivered in a way that may sting, we are very quick to discard the viability and validity of the actual message because of a coarse delivery.  I don’t want the best pizza in the world to be delivered to my table by a vile and rude server.  With many things in life, communication requires balance and a little finesse.  Think about your audience and try to ascertain how they will receive your message in a favorable way and attempt to deliver it accordingly.  Many times, I don’t exude the patience or fortitude for this selfless way of communication because I am very stuck in the “rightness” of my own opinion.  Wise people say that it’s better to be “at peace” than to “be right”.  Some times I am just ready to go to war; combat boots, biological warfare, tanks, AK-47’s, dressed in the finest camouflage/ninja suit on the market.  I beg the question today, is it ever THIS deep?  The issue and the day determine my answer to this question.  Perhaps, it is plausible to develop a different approach.  It is not a cowardly thing to calm raging waters to still ones so that everyone is heard.  Let put down our weapons today and hug it out … 

Birds of a feather...

Say Word...


I was speaking with @freestell and it occurred to me that we have to surround ourselves with the right type of people.  Draining relationships do nothing but bring you headaches, heartaches and acne outbreaks.  We don't always realize the toll stress takes on our physical and emotional states. It can create a bevy of issues in both the short and long term.  Why do we keep toxic people around?  Do we crave the drama?  Does it make us feel superior or more important? Are we afraid of letting go? I could go on listing questions, but I'm in search of some real answers.  People who steal your joy, peace, good sense and happiness are there by design.  There are people who, whether they know it or not, have the distinct purpose of stealing, killing and destroying your personal brand.  I want to be known as a person who is loving and loved by others.  I want to be the friend you can call in the middle of the night.  I also want to be surrounded by people who are as equally yoked and invested in our relationship.  I don't want to be associated with mess, so I need to make sure that in order to keep the dirt outside, I ought to wipe my feet at the door...

Begin again...

Say Word...

There are many instances in life in which we should take a look at what we are doing and how we can do it better.  In the westernized world, there is an undercurrent, this almost tangle energy that tells us that we are failures if we are not involved in something that is life changing or at the very least helpful to our fellow man.  We are often groomed to reach for elusive stars and to put work into the foundational pipelines of our pipe dreams but what is missing are lessons on how to obtain it.  For me, my dreams are akin to Big Foot or the Lochness monster.  There have been sightings and even the occasional eyewitness report but nothing substantially concrete.  I am going to go out on a limb here and believe that I’m not the only one.  My reasoning is two-fold.  First, I simply want company in the struggle of confusion and strife and secondly, I want to genuinely know how to overcome this conundrum. I am hoping that by being transparent, I can pass on what I have learned and open up the floodgates of communication so that I can continue to cultivate different techniques that may enhance my experiences in life.  Sounds major, right?  As I type this text, I feel like this is yet another 30- something's existential moment of crisis but to that nagging feeling that inevitably tries to deter me, I am making a conscience choice to tell it to shut the hell up.  Look at me world; I’m about to figure you out.