Cuffing Season

Say Word...

Kicking ballistics...

Say Word...

I was speaking with someone very close to me today and it occurred to me how difficult it can be to forge an environment of respectful communication in a romantic relationship.  We argue because we feel that the other party is incapable of understanding our positions. Many of us feel our intimate relationship is not a safe place to express our frustrations, fallacies, and fears. How do we listen without defense when we are constantly on the defensive?  I can personally attest to the fact that I spend a lot of my time thinking about my strategy in a particular discussion versus actually listening.  When a message is delivered in a way that may sting, we are very quick to discard the viability and validity of the actual message because of a coarse delivery.  I don’t want the best pizza in the world to be delivered to my table by a vile and rude server.  With many things in life, communication requires balance and a little finesse.  Think about your audience and try to ascertain how they will receive your message in a favorable way and attempt to deliver it accordingly.  Many times, I don’t exude the patience or fortitude for this selfless way of communication because I am very stuck in the “rightness” of my own opinion.  Wise people say that it’s better to be “at peace” than to “be right”.  Some times I am just ready to go to war; combat boots, biological warfare, tanks, AK-47’s, dressed in the finest camouflage/ninja suit on the market.  I beg the question today, is it ever THIS deep?  The issue and the day determine my answer to this question.  Perhaps, it is plausible to develop a different approach.  It is not a cowardly thing to calm raging waters to still ones so that everyone is heard.  Let put down our weapons today and hug it out … 

Moscato...

Say Word...


My posts have been sporadic because I have been researching content and recording videos in an attempt to further legitimize my vision for this blog and provide worthy material.  Please rock with me as I have very few clues as to what I am actually doing :).  Last night, in the midst of yet another thunderstorm, I looked around my bedroom and began to count my blessings.  Material things are amazing but a sense of peace and security are irreplaceable.  While attempting to take my own advice, I wanted to relax and create a serene atmosphere for the hard-working hubs.  I poured us a glass of wine and we had a combination of agitated and stressful exchanges that seemed to be tied directly to the pattern of the storm raging outside.  While I sipped my Moscato, it occurred to me that it would be beneficial to temper my mood to the sweetness and aromatic wine I was drinking versus allowing hellion rainfalls to be the facilitator of ambiance.  Whether I was tipsy, tired or tantalized, the improvement of the energy was beneficial to all parties.  Perception can be changed in an instant.  Allow your rain waters to enrich rather than flood.

Marriage...

I have said it once and I will say it until the end of my days...Marriage is 75 percent commitment and 25 percent romance, love, lust, sex, finances, intimacy and all of that other stuff.  There is a place in which you have to operate on a spiritual plane because your spouse will river-dance on your last nerve and no apologies will be given while doing so.  One reason divorce happens so frequently is not because people don't love or have an affinity for one another but we have boiling points that stay on a slow simmer most of the time.  We don't relax and allow our spouses to be vulnerable and safe in the understanding that the union is secure.  I need to be able to be my most basic self and still have the love and compassion of my husband.  The aforementioned in much easier said than done.  To be honest, some days it feels darn-near impossible.  I am learning that if the issues is not going to be of  importance next week, next month or next year, then maybe I ought to reserve my mental energy for issues that truly take precedence in my life.  The universe is filled with matter ready to spontaneously combust at any given moment, I am choosing to be easy.  Wish me luck as I go attempt peace.