Lingerie...

Say Word...

We were not created to be alone.  We require periods of isolation but we don't want to live our entire existence in solitary confinement. That is where the notion of support comes in.  Like a bra, supportive people can cradle you and lift your spirits while separating you from negative thoughts and frustrating circumstances.  As independent as I'd like to believe I am, I know that the support of my family and friends is crucial to not only my mental capacities but to my overall well-being. These gifts from God set out to perform tasks that push me up, cover my vulnerable and sensitive spots, smooth out bumpy dispositions and round out my jagged edges.  Whether I need a little support or a lot, there is a size tailor-made for the type of help I need.  It is a glorious feeling when you have something that is a custom fit.  To all of my people, thanks for keeping this girl perky.

On a Tuesday...

Dream again...

Taking the time to think and dream is critical.  I personally believe these exercises are essential to the birth of ideas but more importantly to the better understanding of your personal situations and the occurrences that surround you.  Life doesn’t happen in a bubble, it is an interlocking directive of persons, places and things and we have to share our thoughts with others.  I am a fan of over-indulged thinking.  The self-aware are truly blessed.  When I feed off of the ideas, conversations, tunes, melodies, sonnets, struggles, passions, poems, pictures, flows and other wondrous works of others, I am able to tap into intrinsic parts of myself that make existence more viable and pliable.  My message today is not to always stay awake but to allow your mind to fixate on a subject a little longer than you normally would… I can guarantee that you will rediscover yourself in the process. 

Cuffing Season

Say Word...

Hunger...

Say Word...

 I am at a point in my life where my need for things that are spiritual and intuitive are as real and carnal for me as my hunger for food.  As I am attempting to regulate my intake of food that is not healthy, such is the case regarding relationships, spiritual matters, people, and the bombardment of useless information.  My inner-voice is screaming at the top of her lungs that she is malnourished.  I am having a time reconciling the type of food I should be ingesting.  The truth is, I waste obscene amounts of time wondering and worrying about what others are doing when that mental capital can be used much more effectively on things that will bear good fruit.  I don’t want to continue to bury my dreams, talents and desires to wake up one day starving when there were vast feasts at my disposal.  I believe that I am having a moment of awakening.  My new goal is to #staywoke and no longer hunger.  I will eat for my betterment, not for lusty, lofty, pointless reasons…all of the facets of my being will be well pleased.

Closure

Say word...


Time is just an indicator of minutes, hours and seconds that have passed.  It doesn't mean that feelings have dissipated. We have a tendency to believe that particular issues have become insignificant because we chose not to deal with them but in actuality, we have simply kicked the can down the road.  Once we reach that particular point in said proverbial road, we are oftentimes surprised at the rise these long-forgotten feelings get out of us.  What I have learned is that confrontation and transparency are key.  I have to admit to myself that I am dealing with frustrations, desires and odd yearnings and take self-inventory of why I feel that way and what I can do inside of safe and rational perimeters to deal with those feelings.  Denial is a nice place to vacation.  The issue becomes real when I want to purchase real estate there.  People, time and places are there to teach us certain things about ourselves and others.  Reflection is necessary so that past mistakes don't become current.  Finding closure is a gift.  Handle it with care.

Namaste...

Say Word...

Happiness is just a word to many of us.  It is some sort of conquest that we strive for that is overwhelming filled with shallow, tangible and throw-away items and ideals.  My quest to brand myself and to step away from cubicle life and attempt to create a life that is viable and enjoyable is a pursuit that most days feels out of touch with reality.  It is no mystery that in this society, we are interested in titles.  One of the first questions we ask strangers is "what do you do for a living?" We all have some canned response and that is how we make connections and judgements about each other.  I want to be/have more than that.  I want to bask in my privilege not so that I can brag but so that I can express gratitude for what I am able to experience.  No, my life is not anywhere near where I'd like it.  I haven't begun to accomplish the long list of goals that I've created for myself and have very few plans on where I'd like to see myself in the future.  I stress, procrastinate and walk in fear of being vulnerable enough to put myself out there to truly experience the goodness that life has to offer.  Today, I offer no apologies for choosing a path that no one believes in and most days I doubt myself.  If it doesn't work out, I don't want it to be because I didn't try.  Happiness is fleeting.  Joy is eternal.  May unfathomable joy be our portions.

Kicking ballistics...

Say Word...

I was speaking with someone very close to me today and it occurred to me how difficult it can be to forge an environment of respectful communication in a romantic relationship.  We argue because we feel that the other party is incapable of understanding our positions. Many of us feel our intimate relationship is not a safe place to express our frustrations, fallacies, and fears. How do we listen without defense when we are constantly on the defensive?  I can personally attest to the fact that I spend a lot of my time thinking about my strategy in a particular discussion versus actually listening.  When a message is delivered in a way that may sting, we are very quick to discard the viability and validity of the actual message because of a coarse delivery.  I don’t want the best pizza in the world to be delivered to my table by a vile and rude server.  With many things in life, communication requires balance and a little finesse.  Think about your audience and try to ascertain how they will receive your message in a favorable way and attempt to deliver it accordingly.  Many times, I don’t exude the patience or fortitude for this selfless way of communication because I am very stuck in the “rightness” of my own opinion.  Wise people say that it’s better to be “at peace” than to “be right”.  Some times I am just ready to go to war; combat boots, biological warfare, tanks, AK-47’s, dressed in the finest camouflage/ninja suit on the market.  I beg the question today, is it ever THIS deep?  The issue and the day determine my answer to this question.  Perhaps, it is plausible to develop a different approach.  It is not a cowardly thing to calm raging waters to still ones so that everyone is heard.  Let put down our weapons today and hug it out … 

Birds of a feather...

Say Word...


I was speaking with @freestell and it occurred to me that we have to surround ourselves with the right type of people.  Draining relationships do nothing but bring you headaches, heartaches and acne outbreaks.  We don't always realize the toll stress takes on our physical and emotional states. It can create a bevy of issues in both the short and long term.  Why do we keep toxic people around?  Do we crave the drama?  Does it make us feel superior or more important? Are we afraid of letting go? I could go on listing questions, but I'm in search of some real answers.  People who steal your joy, peace, good sense and happiness are there by design.  There are people who, whether they know it or not, have the distinct purpose of stealing, killing and destroying your personal brand.  I want to be known as a person who is loving and loved by others.  I want to be the friend you can call in the middle of the night.  I also want to be surrounded by people who are as equally yoked and invested in our relationship.  I don't want to be associated with mess, so I need to make sure that in order to keep the dirt outside, I ought to wipe my feet at the door...

Begin again...

Say Word...

There are many instances in life in which we should take a look at what we are doing and how we can do it better.  In the westernized world, there is an undercurrent, this almost tangle energy that tells us that we are failures if we are not involved in something that is life changing or at the very least helpful to our fellow man.  We are often groomed to reach for elusive stars and to put work into the foundational pipelines of our pipe dreams but what is missing are lessons on how to obtain it.  For me, my dreams are akin to Big Foot or the Lochness monster.  There have been sightings and even the occasional eyewitness report but nothing substantially concrete.  I am going to go out on a limb here and believe that I’m not the only one.  My reasoning is two-fold.  First, I simply want company in the struggle of confusion and strife and secondly, I want to genuinely know how to overcome this conundrum. I am hoping that by being transparent, I can pass on what I have learned and open up the floodgates of communication so that I can continue to cultivate different techniques that may enhance my experiences in life.  Sounds major, right?  As I type this text, I feel like this is yet another 30- something's existential moment of crisis but to that nagging feeling that inevitably tries to deter me, I am making a conscience choice to tell it to shut the hell up.  Look at me world; I’m about to figure you out. 

Moscato...

Say Word...


My posts have been sporadic because I have been researching content and recording videos in an attempt to further legitimize my vision for this blog and provide worthy material.  Please rock with me as I have very few clues as to what I am actually doing :).  Last night, in the midst of yet another thunderstorm, I looked around my bedroom and began to count my blessings.  Material things are amazing but a sense of peace and security are irreplaceable.  While attempting to take my own advice, I wanted to relax and create a serene atmosphere for the hard-working hubs.  I poured us a glass of wine and we had a combination of agitated and stressful exchanges that seemed to be tied directly to the pattern of the storm raging outside.  While I sipped my Moscato, it occurred to me that it would be beneficial to temper my mood to the sweetness and aromatic wine I was drinking versus allowing hellion rainfalls to be the facilitator of ambiance.  Whether I was tipsy, tired or tantalized, the improvement of the energy was beneficial to all parties.  Perception can be changed in an instant.  Allow your rain waters to enrich rather than flood.

Marriage...

I have said it once and I will say it until the end of my days...Marriage is 75 percent commitment and 25 percent romance, love, lust, sex, finances, intimacy and all of that other stuff.  There is a place in which you have to operate on a spiritual plane because your spouse will river-dance on your last nerve and no apologies will be given while doing so.  One reason divorce happens so frequently is not because people don't love or have an affinity for one another but we have boiling points that stay on a slow simmer most of the time.  We don't relax and allow our spouses to be vulnerable and safe in the understanding that the union is secure.  I need to be able to be my most basic self and still have the love and compassion of my husband.  The aforementioned in much easier said than done.  To be honest, some days it feels darn-near impossible.  I am learning that if the issues is not going to be of  importance next week, next month or next year, then maybe I ought to reserve my mental energy for issues that truly take precedence in my life.  The universe is filled with matter ready to spontaneously combust at any given moment, I am choosing to be easy.  Wish me luck as I go attempt peace.

Feet...

As I peruse the inter-webs looking for inspiration, it occurs to me that I am a BIG procrastinator.  I handle many projects simultaneously, however, it can be very small things that will take me out of the mental and have me fixated on the physical.  Last night, I rammed my toe into the side of the bed in the dark.  This is not a new occurrence for me as I am generally clumsy but I managed to bruise it pretty good and today it's swollen.  Why am I sharing this?  I think I wanted to be transparent about myself in order to improve myself.  I am allowing a hurt toe to interfere with my workout that I have been putting off for months.  Before this incident, there were a series of other pitfalls that made this transition into healthy living seem daunting.  Why do I have this fear of self-improvement?


Time to put on some music and get this exercise party started, damn it! #letsgo

Genesis...

I am sitting here thinking about what I want to do with my time.  After many years of working in a profession that left me emotionally drained, I decided to give this "stay at home" mom thing a shot for a while.  What I didn't count on was as my children grew, they would grow more independent and needed less "mommy care".  I am now in a place where I am trying to recapture who I am and what my purpose is in life.  I believe that each of us has several different purposes and that many lives intersect in order to make a collective whole.  This is a journey of self-discovery.  My interests are vast.  I am deep and deeply shallow at the same time.  I long to go to far away places almost as much as I love the comfort of my own home.  My goal is to share myself and to partake of what the world has to offer...Let's go.